My bff's dad just died?
I'm not good at this kind of stuff. We are both close to 16. He died this morning and she thinks she heard him die (he was snoring and then just stopped) and she saw him a few seconds after her mom found him. I don't have a good way with words. I can relate because my mom died 5 years ago, but I just don't know what to say to her. I've been saying the usually stuff like "If you need anything, just tell me" and "Are you doin ok?" but I know from experience that that gets annoying.
What can I say to her. She's been calling me needing comfort, but I'm just not good at this!! She said that she won't ever get the sight of him out of her mind and I told her "I know. You won't. I can remember my whole day perfectly, even what I ate for supper, when my mom died, but it gets easier to remember with time."
Thats really as deep as I get. Any advice on what to do for her or say to her.
Oh and what should I get her, a teddy bear or an angel figurine? or something else?
Thanks.
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8 Responses to “My bff's dad just died?”-
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ask what she wants to talk about, does she want to talk about her dad, or something to get her mind off of it? or if she just wants to sit in silence or just scream.
you know from experience, the pain will not go away over night. when someone first dies, all the neighbors and family and friends are over at your house, it can be comforting. but eventually they go home. its the hardest to deal with once everyone leaves. and your left, alone. Dont let her be alone. stay with her when you can. just be a friend.
i lost someone close too, its hard to put into words the feelings. all you can do is try
if it were me. i would just want a friend to be there. even if we’re not speaking on the phone just someone to be on the other end. and I’m not sure you should get her anything, but just to be there for her.
I’ve found that people feel better if they talk about the person and the great memories they had with that person. Bring her diner and just hang out, if she wants to talk she will. She might just need a person to hang out with right now.
Well, my grandpa died in the past, a couple years ago, I know that doesn’t equal to a parent, but it still hurts. All I really needed to hear people say, was that they were there for me, and they had a shoulder that I could cry on.
Im not sure about the gift thing, just do what your heart tell’s you. Tell her everything’s going to be okay. Good luck.
When my dad died, I got a cross necklace from my friend. I wear it every day. Get her that.And don’t askher if she’s okay anymore, only occasionally, because it DOES get annoying. Hug her a lot, that helped me. When she wants comfort tell her it’snot her fault, but only if she blames herself for hearing him and not helping. Tell her lots of jokes to make her laugh and try to get her mind off it. That helped me a lot. Just be like you always are and you should do great.
You really have done al you can. I suggest getting her a teddy bear, that way she can hold it and squeeze it when shes sad/crying. I remember when my friends dad died, and I was just there for her. I held her and hugged her when she cried. We actually cried together, because I knew him well. Just let her know that you care about her, and that you’re there for her. Thats really all you can do.
My mother recently passed away 3 months ago, all i wanted was to be surronded by love, and i was mainly around my family but i did let my friends know a couple days after it happened and they couldnt really relate to me and just kept saying the same things really you are to your friend..and thats all that matters is that your there for them, just continue to try your best to help your friend through this hard time.
I think you should give her a personal letter/card and this is what i would do since im catholic, I would get salt water and some lettuce leafs and dip the lettuce leafs in the salt water and ask her to lick it and to show her her tears. I would also help her make a shrime to her dad somwhere speacial where she can pray for him, you should get a picture of him and some candles and flowers for it, and a teddy bear to give her to comfort her and whenever she needs a hug from her dad, hug the bear, or if she just needs him, to take the bear over to the shrime and just sit there with it.
Hope I Helped!